I. Have. To. Write. This. Fucking. Job App. Why, even when I really want to do something, am I unable to do it unless I have the pressure of The Last Minute weighing upon me *question mark question mark question mark*(the question mark key on this computer is broken)
I really want this job and I am so scared that the cover letter not being perfect is going to be the reason I don't even get considered for the position. In reality it will be a lack of experience or inability in its entirety that denies me the job but I will still blame it on the cover letter, or the fact that I never actually applied for it because I've spent the last week avoiding it entirely and the last two days focusing on finding out about new crafts. NB I still think needle felting will be great but my efforts to acquire the basics necessities for the task failed meaning I had one less activity to use as an excuse for not doing the cover letter writing Sunday was set aside for. I am pretending to do it right now. The Boyfriend doesn't know about my blog (I'm a little nervous about releasing its identity to anyone who knows me personally at this stage) so he probably thinks I am tap-tap-tapping away productively at my job application. But no - add blogging to the list of things I've done today to avoid my job app which so far includes watching tv, crochet (two different blankets), knitting (a tea cosy), shopping for clothes for my nephews, cooking a roast, baking dessert, doing all the dishes which I usually would be doing other things instead of but today they are not The Thing That I Want To Do Least, more tv, making tea and soon drinking tea.
Does anyone else have this problem, or is it something that everyone else has learnt to overcome in their old age *questionmark* I should just do it, but now I will agonise over it all night, sleep terribly, and then use being too tired as the number one excuse for why I don't do it tomorrow (the fact that I'll be at work all day should be the number one reason, but it won't be). I wish I had an office or sewing room that I could hide away in. But then I would just find ways to avoid The Thing I'm Supposed To Be Doing while hiding away from everything else. Okay, attempt #786 here I come...
*less than two minutes later* I give up. I am doing it at work tomorrow when it is number two on my List Of Things I Want To Do Least - work will be number one.
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